No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
