I feel great
I just peed on a car
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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