Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
