I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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