It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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