Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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