So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
