CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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