There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
