Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
