if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
