I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
