he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
