i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
