Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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