I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
