i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
