mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
