marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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