someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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