There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We need a shit load of segways right now
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
