Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
