what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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