I want to have your abortion
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
