and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
