we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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