Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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