I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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