I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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