i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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