Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
