It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
