If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
