I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
