My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
