Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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