i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
how do flat chested girls get laid?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
