it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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