My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
