Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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