Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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