I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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