and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
