a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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