i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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