I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
