what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize