He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
