I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
