what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
