I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
