Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize