So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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