I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
