I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
