oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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