She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
