I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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