Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
