it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
barbara walters just said penis...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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