he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
