i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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