and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
