I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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