is your mom at the bar?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
