I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
