yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
