I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just pee around me
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize