I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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