He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
