My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
